The loss of my mom and sister was devastating. I those moments my wife was a champ, doing everything she could to be there with me. She was grieving herself but put me first even when I didn’t expect her to. God really did put an amazing woman in my life and without her being there during these times, I truly do not know where I would be today.

Even in death, my mother and sister taught me something. I’ve never taken the phrase “Life is too Short” seriously, but it is a motto that I take very seriously now. Possibly too seriously at times. Life CAN be too short, but only if you don’t live it fully. What I mean by fully is not vacations every six months, buying a new side by side, partying with friends, but, instead, having God and family as top priority in your life. Let those other things happen organically. Don’t force them into existence. If we allow outside things to wedge themselves between God and Family, life WILL BE too short and likely filled with regret. I am guilty of this.

The following year, in September of 2020, my employer let me go. At Will Termination to be exact. I had no idea what that even meant. Come to find out, there doesn’t have to be a reason for the termination. It could simply be that someone in management didn’t think I fit the group, or I may be holding up a spot for someone else to be hired. There’s no way to know. Mind you, I had been there for 2+ years at this point, and I loved working there. It was the first time I had ever been fired. It was also the first time I didn’t know what I was going to do to help provide for my family.

At this point in my life, I had just turned 24 years old, my wife was 3 months pregnant, and I am now jobless. I wasn’t afraid, but there was a feeling of uncertainty and of course anger. This was another pivotal moment in my life. I almost instantly developed a lack of security working for someone else. I had devoted my time and energy to something that could just drop me within minutes. That’s not a risk I am willing to take again. OH! And did I mention that we had just secured a new home and property that was over a quarter of a million dollars? I may have been a little on edge. I knew I had to go get another decent paying job and with my medical license I was confident that I wouldn’t have any issues, but I also knew that working for someone else was not a long-term solution for me that I was comfortable with anymore. I just wasn’t quite sure what the solution was.

I ended up finding work at another ambulance service in a larger city. I ran with them for a while and started to become burnt out. I love to help people, especially when they need it most, but my mind wasn’t in it. We bought the ranch and had a baby, that is all I could think about.

The purchase of the ranch was not a random ordeal. We had it in the back of our minds that one day we will have a working ranch. We would drive by our current property daily to go to town for groceries and other necessities. I would see this place and say to my wife, “That’s the kind of place I want for us. That’s the dream start up spot.” Little did we know that in 2020 we would be closing on it.

My wife and I had lived in a small apartment on another ranch that boarded 40+ horses and held some events (mostly roping and a barrel race once a year). Our apartment was roughly 500 or 600 square feet, if I remember correctly, and was built in a hay barn. One third of the building was 3 apartments (2 smaller upstairs apartments and 1 larger downstairs) and the other two thirds were hay storage. This was back in the 2015 – 2017 timeframe. I was working full-time as a cop at the base on third shift and my time was coming up to determine whether to stay full-time or drop back down to a traditional guardsman.

We developed a friendship with the couple that leased the ranch. We learned an enormous amount from them about horses and even some livestock. I went on to apprentice under our friend to learn to shoe horses and he trained some horses as well. That was a phenomenal experience and led me to the decision of no longer be full-time at the base. In some ways I wish I would have continued shoeing, but I realize now that it wasn’t meant to be my full-time job, and that God designed it that way for a reason.

My mother and I also lived with my grandparents for a few years while I was in junior high. This was also a key moment in my life. My grandfather is a career livestock hauler, but he is also a horseman and very knowledgeable when it comes to other livestock as well. He is technically my step grandfather, but my biological grandfather passed away before I was born. My step-grandfather, Paul, was at the hospital when I was born and for years I had no clue that he wasn’t my biological grandfather.

I was a young, cocky, overzealous kid that didn’t always agree. If I didn’t understand something, then it must have been wrong in my eyes . . . Yea, that kid. But, despite my rudeness, my grandfather took me under his wing and showed me what some call Natural Horsemanship. He also took me around to his friends’ ranches where I would learn about horses and likely buck some hay bales and pick stalls too. The time that I got to spend with him and my grandmother is irreplaceable. He didn’t just talk to me about hard work (although the reminiscing on the glory days definitely happened), but, instead, he showed me what hard work was. Being able to work with him and his friends was awesome. He isn’t just a father figure in my life, but that grandfather that I needed. I accredit much of what I know to him. In fact, I still learn from him to this day.

This is my grandfathers good friend John and I at a Team Sorting event at the Fulton County Fairgrounds. In both pictures above we were riding John’s horses. This was my first public competition.

God talks about the importance of Grandfathers and Fathers throughout the bible. While their roles are very similar, they are also meant to be different. I can distinctly remember a time when my grandfather was upset with me about something. I can’t even remember what it was about, but I remember in detail, him saying, “I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed” . . . I tell you what, that is worse than getting your dad called into the school for something you did knowing you were going to get your butt beat and probably grounded. A disappointed grandfather is on a whole other level and is a feeling that just sucks. There wasn’t any yelling. I don’t recall even being grounded. I just knew I did wrong, and that disappointment was punishment enough.

Coming back to roughly the 2021 timeframe. I cannot tell you how strange it was to turn 25. I would have moments at least once a week where I would wonder, “What if this is it? This is the age Taylor was when she passed”. I began to think on a larger scale. Especially now that kids were involved. I started to think about what would happen to my wife and son if God called me home. I was happy with my family, my home, and what we were starting, but I wasn’t happy with where I was at this stage in my life. Where I might leave my wife and son if I passed. For me, this was unacceptable.

God really does work in mysterious ways. I’ve never heard God physically talk to me, but He has never lost contact. It’s all about Gods timing and plan. The two work in conjunction with one another. It’s as if He gives me a key to unlock a door to a new idea in my brain. And it always seems random. It never seems to be something I heard that sparked the idea. It’s like a brick comes flying at my head with the idea attached to it and I can’t dodge it. This, what I believe to be, divine guidance toward an idea was simply one word, Legacy. That word has stuck with me ever since. To build a legacy for my family that honors God. That’s the goal, but as you will learn by reading these chapters, that isn’t necessarily what happened.

God does not do things for us. He gives us a task and lets us accomplish it. God constantly challenges our faith in Him.